Make this Valentine’s Day Special with Love’s Five Languages
Have you ever wondered how to make Valentine’s Days special? Have you somehow managed to always miss the mark when you try?
It’s all right. A lot of people struggle with Valentine’s Day, but they don’t have to. Not when they understand the five love languages. It is not rocket science figuring out that St. Valentine’s love language was gift giving. But this isn’t the only love language and a lot of people express their love differently.
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of the five love languages, it goes like this. There are five primary ways we express love to those we care about and love, and we respond favourably when someone expresses our way of loving to us. These acts of love are called love languages and are the five expressions of love Gary Chapman coined as Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving, and Physical Touch.
For example you might like doing things for others like washing their car without them asking, doing chores, cooking a meal, and doing other acts of service you know your spouse or partner would like you to do. This might be your way of showing love. When someone does something like this for you, you know that they are showing you that they love you too. This is only the love language termed as Acts of Service. There are still five others ripe for the use of showing your loved ones that they are indeed loved.
No love language is better than another. Each is equal and each means so much to the person who finds love in that act. When you take a look at the love languages, you should be able to find a language that resonates with you. Words of Affirmation is another of the five love languages and is often a big one with men. Being told you are awesome, caring, and a valued person can do amazing things for them. A compliment, word of appreciation, or an encouragement are all powerful communicator’s of love. So when you hear someone you love praising you and others, often this is their language. Speak it back to them. Tell them they look fantastic and beautiful and handsome and whatever the case may be. It will mean a lot to them.
Quality time is often very popular with women. Spending time talking to your woman, listening attentively and being present and available goes a long way. Make sure they have your undivided attention by putting the phone away, newspaper down, eyes off the TV screen and instead staring into theirs. They know they are loved when they are heard. Of the five love languages, Physical Touch is the easiest one to see in others. You know these people, the ones that are always hugging, always touching you, patting you on the back, caressing your arm. This language is not about sex or physical intimacy, but rather closeness and connection. On your date, hold their hand, walk arm in arm and please refrain from saying anything like “I’m just not a touchy-feely person”.
And of course, the last one is the language of giving and receiving gifts. These people enjoy getting gifts as much (or possibly even more) as they enjoy giving them. It doesn’t matter the size of the gift, but rather the intention and sincerity behind it. Be sure to give authentically and always give them a thoughtful gift, even if it’s as simple as an “Oh, this reminded me of you so I got it” gift. It’s often the smallest gifts that mean the most. Now that you know the five languages of love, take the time to get to know yours and the person’s you love. It will be worth it and I can guarantee that when you converse with your love languages, this valentines day will be a chocolate box full of romance.
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Author: Paul Baker
Paul Baker is an experienced relationship coach and counsellor servicing areas in Brisbane. He has a Bachelor of Behavioural Science (Psychology)
, a Graduate Diploma in Counselling,
a Certificate in Dispute Resolution and Counselling Supervisor.
Paul is experienced with a broad range of psychological and emotional problems. He’s a well-known member within the Australian Counselling Association (ACA) and the Christian Counsellors Association of Australia.