Building better communication
When you’re in a committed relationship there is the expectation that the two of you should be able to talk to each other about almost anything. And the majority of the time this is the case. However, being available to talk about anything requires trust and authentic communication. You have to be able to trust your partner with your feelings, your emotions and your deepest darkest thoughts, hopes and dreams.
Trust is probably the underlying current of every committed relationship. Without it there is nothing to hang on to. It’s not something that can to be said but something that must be demonstrated.
Trusting your partner means you are able to have open, honest, thoughtful dialogue which is crucial to building authentic communication. If you don’t feel or trust that your partner will listen, care or will support you in something you need to talk out, you don’t have authentic communication.
Authentic communication does not mean “Say whatever is on your mind” because ‘it’s the truth’. No, authentic communication is about listening first for understanding them responding from a kind compassionate place within you. This kind of communication is what builds marriages and relationships not shut them down.
Remember that truth is often subjective. How you see the relationship might be completely different from how your partner sees it. Having authentic, honest, safe conversations around this requires a good deal of listening for meaning.
And when it comes to listening for understanding, it is best if you are present, in the moment, non-judgmental, and loving to your partner when they’re sharing their truth with you. It pays to go to your compassionate place when the hard things, the most difficult subjects, have to be discussed. It’s those conversations when the most painful words are said that need the most compassion when you’re sharing authentic communication.
While conversations have a start and finish, communication does not. To foster growth, love, trust, compassion and care you need to keep the channels of communication open and real. The truth is you can’t fix everything, and the truth is you’re not supposed to. Sometimes all that is required in moments of authentic communication is for you being there, being an empathetic and caring listener.
There is a deep well of discovery and connectedness that can only be found in a committed relationship. And making that a reality means treating each other gently when creating conversations. Don’t be surprised at the depths of emotional connection that you will share together when you do.