Will your relationship thrive in 10 years’ time?
The tendency for a lot of couples after getting married is to stop consciously investing into their relationship. They often think that all the hard relationship work has been done. You can almost hear them say: “We worked really hard to get here and now that we are married we can relax”. In reality, the real work is just getting started. Good marriages take work and a lot of it. So, to help you create a long-term, till-death–do-us-part marriage here’s a really good question to ask each other: “Where is our marriage going?” and “Where will our marriage be in 10 years?” No matter how you look at it ten years from now is likely to come. How it looks like from there will depend solely on what you do here. There is every chance you will arrive at ten years from now. Just hoping that your relationship will still be intact and thriving is the cross-fingered marriage approach. Now, it’s true that you could be doing well, but it is equally true that you could hit some bumps in the road to marital bliss. That is not uncommon. If your marriage is lacking in some important areas like fondness and admiration, shared activities or even sexual intimacy then it might well not be in good shape in ten years time.
If you suspect that your relationship is going in the wrong direction then the first thing to do is to stop kidding yourself. Will what you are doing now get you to a better place? To get to a better relationship you need to be investing into it. And to borrow from Jim Rohn you want to stop engaging in: Disillusion. That is where you are hoping without acting, and wishing without doing.
The number one question you both need to be asking is: “Where are we now in relation to where we would like to be”? What changes do we need to make to ensure that we take the right steps toward the kind of relationship we dream of? Start incorporating some daily disciplines into your life and be prepared to see some welcomed changes.
Paul Baker is an experienced relationship coach and counsellor servicing areas in Brisbane. He has a Bachelor of Behavioural Science (Psychology)
, a Graduate Diploma in Counselling,
a Certificate in Dispute Resolution and Counselling Supervisor.
Paul is experienced with a broad range of psychological and emotional problems. He's a well-known member within the Australian Counselling Association (ACA) and the Christian Counsellors Association of Australia.