Your Counselling Questions Answered

Face-to-face individual and couples counselling and coaching sessions usually run for 55 mins. The initial couples intake session runs for 75 minutes.

It can be challenging for a lot of people to open up to a complete stranger and talk about really personal issues. In the first counselling session, you will find that it is not as scary as you might have believed.
For starters, you are in the driver’s seat. You determine what is said and what is not. We make every effort to help you feel safe and comfortable in talking about what brings you to counselling.

This is really dependent on the difficulty and duration of the issues you are struggling with. Some relatively surface difficulties can be resolved in two or three sessions, whilst other patterns or issues that have been there a lifetime can take longer to work through.

The goal of effective therapy is to get you to a place where you are comfortable, confident, and competent in moving forward in your life. Lasting results come from equipping you with tools and techniques to manage life situations better, as well as providing you with insight into previous behaviours. The average length of the counselling process to achieve this is around 7-8 sessions, however, this can differ for everyone.

Obviously, each couple is unique and there is no “average” number of sessions required. Therapy begins with a 3-step assessment process where the couple, guided by Paul, provides a brief history of their relationship, family histories and current issues.

The following 2 sessions are one-on-one, where each partner gets to tell their side of the story. This is a common practice, and something highly recommended by the John Gottman Institute. These assessments provide the foundation or roadmap for your therapeutic journey and provide you with a clear purpose and goals. The frequency and duration of your sessions are then agreed co-jointly with Paul. Paul utilises the research based Gottman method because of its validity and reliability and aims to help you become competent and confident in making the necessary lasting positive changes to your relationship.

The role of the counsellor in this process is to provide you with the right tools and to help facilitate changes that you embark on making in your daily lives.

Counselling and coaching do work! But they do require work. Whether it is support and understanding through a crisis or bringing about deep fundamental change, talking about it with a professional can make a positive difference. Men in particular benefit enormously from having a one-on-one with a male counsellor. Our society is becoming increasingly familiar and accepting of psychological therapy as more and more people experience the benefits.

The short answer is NO. Seeking professional help is often hard, particularly for men. To men, it may sometimes represent a weakness or a failure but there are just some issues in life that no amount of ‘self-help’ will fix. Seeking out a qualified counsellor and allowing them to see our vulnerabilities is an act of courage and strength and in itself will help move you towards your greatest potential.

If your partner doesn’t want to attend relationship counselling, you may like to start on your own. By attending, you are demonstrating how you value the relationship and will gain perspectives on how you can bring new skills and insights into your relationship. Your partner is welcome to join the process at any stage.

Sometimes individual therapy is indicated for one or both parties involved in couple’s coaching. In fact, it is a prerequisite with the Gottman method. Individual sessions can help uncover habits and ways of doing things that can be adjusted or even eliminated. However, a lot of personal insight can be gained in exploring the ‘why’s’ and ‘how’s’ of why you do certain things by discussing them in a safe counselling environment together.